Polygamy Revival

I am sure you have noticed the recent revival of polygamy in Zambia. For a number of years at the funerals of several prominent Zambian’s we have come to know that the deceased had parallel families that knew nothing of each other. Upon inquiry it is usually found that several “key” members of the man’s extended family knew of this arrangement and facilitated these second, third and even fourth marriages. Recently however, the revival has “come out of the closest”, those who read Zambian newspapers will no doubt remember and article about a member of the Cabinet who has two wives who know of each other and live in harmony. As if that weren’t shocking enough, the article revealed that the man’s first wife served as matron at his marriage to his second wife. Then on the international scene there is of course there is Jacaob Zuma. What more needs to be said?

Recently, the media has joined in the Polygamy advocacy campaign. Bliss magazine for example recently published a pro polygamy article. In article an advocate of polygamy noted that several Biblical figures were polygamists. Though the article did not develop the point exegetically the clear implication is, since polygamy is in the Bible it is legitimate.

What is the Christian response to this? Well our first response is not to keep quite! We must speak up and refute this ungodliness from the Bible.

So where do we start? In the beginning, when in doubt we consult the blue print. In many debates about human sexuality today Christians act as is our sexuality was not designed for a particular purpose. These people then go on to say sexuality can be used for any purpose we imagine. This is however, not the case. The Bible in Genesis 1 and 2 lets us know that God deliberately created man male and female for the purpose of marriage. In addition one can note from Jesus’ elaboration on these passages in Mathew 19 that God specifically intended for marriage to be a union between one man and one woman. The Apostle Paul further develops the theology of marriage in Ephesians Chapter 5 by noting that human marriage is modeled along the lines of the relationship between Christ and his Church. As in Christ and his ONE bride. So this brief survey reveals that the Biblical norm is for a man to have ONE wife.

What about all the prominent polygamists in the Bible? One might note that prominent among them is David, a man after God’s own heart! Well, we must note that in the narratives of these Saints lives nowhere does God affirm polygamy as the norm. In short they were sinning by marring multiple wives. So why weren’t they asked to divorce? As far as I can tell God seems to recognize marriage even wrong marriages and expects the institution of marriage to be honoured even when wrongly entered into. It is for this reason that God introduces regulations to ensure that those who engage in polygamy do not abuse their spouses.

Okay that is the Biblical angle. In brief of course. Each point could be developed in greater complexity but for now that will suffice. Let have a look at the assertions that a man cannot stick to one woman. Well the Bible tells us that all people are sinful and are by nature rebels against God. The Christian must assert that it is sin and not the lack of sufficient sexual partners that causes martial unfaithfulness. I believe that the case of Jacob Zuma proves the case. The man has multiple wives and could easily have added another woman to his “krall” but not his sinful lack of self restraint lead him to cheat on his multiple wives. On this basis I believe that Biblically the Christian should oppose any suggestion that lack of self control is a warrant for polygamy.

Apart from using the Bible to refute the advocates of polygamy I believe that the Christian is to live a counter cultural life that displays God’s standards. When single the Christian is to be Chaste and not engage in sexual immorality. When married the Christian is to stick to their spouse and keep the marriage bed undefiled.

Faith of Many Colours Review

This book has been needed for a long time. The Pentecostal Charismatic circles often shy away from criticizing themselves or others, whether it is because of an unhealthy fear of ‘men of God’ or unconcern with what is happening to others, I will let others decide. Madalitso Banja takes a courageous step – he refuses to “spare the rod” and “spoil the child”. He speaks openly and frankly about strengths and weaknesses in modern, Zambian Charismatic congregations.

His first comments about Pastors are, to me, the most revolutionary. “Calling, Bible college training and ministry” form the backbone of good pastoral work, in his analysis. He points out that greed and “money career” thinking has caused much ministry suffering. His solutions are: a Pastoral code of conduct that should apply in all denominations. The Pastors need to be accountable. The second (and even more revolutionary) is the call to have church authority shared in the church. He quotes A. Chalwe; ‘Zambian churches must abandon the “one man show” or chieftain type of church leadership and pattern themselves after the Antioch church. The Antioch church which had a multiple leadership.’ For Zambia, there are indeed many one man shows. Are they ready to bow down to joint elder rule?

He takes a chapter to look at dressing, and points out three wrong motives in dressing to kill, dressing to show off and dressing to ‘define’ ones figure. On this chapter I am left unsure that his handling of the proof texts is in context, though I perceive his good intentions.

Elsewhere he points out the confusion over praise and entertainment, and that much to day passing fro worship music is no more than entertainment.

The Youth, Social responsibility and church splits are also areas he focuses on. He advocates the end of the “spiritual island” Christianity, and that churches hold people accountable, disciple them and work towards building them up. In this day and age of individualism, where “my beliefs are my personal business”, he calls people back to the church model of discipleship for spiritual growth.

I have two reservations about the book. Firstly, he claims Pentecostals and Charismatic believe in both ‘the immaculate conception’. I was honestly shocked when I read this. Either he does not know what Immaculate Conception means or this is bad news! Immaculate conception is a Roman Catholic teaching that says Mary was born without sin and never sinned; (This despite the fact that she calls God her “Saviour” in Luke 1:46,47). How has this uniquely Roman doctrine been included as one of the core Pentecostal beliefs? The virgin birth of Jesus is a different doctrine, but the Immaculate conception is ancient dogma that was first optional (take it or leave it) in the Roman Catholic Church, then made official dogma in 1854! I hope he can re-examine this and remove it from future publications.

Secondly, he has said nothing about how Pentecostal and charismatic churches should relate to non-Charismatic churches, and how to relate to interdenominational events and groups like Scripture Union and ZAFES. A word of wisdom and encouragement on handling differences would have been good.

All in all, this is a good start, as it shifts away from the ‘money and tithe’ over-emphasis to a balanced view of the landscape of challenges facing the churches, and the many ways God wants his people to glorify his name on earth. Hopefully this is the first in a chain of honest, perceptive and influential books. There is a greater need for wisdom in social life and careers, as well as accountability in brotherly love. After all, when one section of Christendom is strengthened and purified, even aside from the other doctrine and practice differences, all their neighbours will benefit as well, from a society of more principled and caring members of society! We are called to be a “light to the world” and not only to our own little corners of friends!

Availiable at major book outlets buy a copy.

Keeping Fit

The Zambian attitude to keeping fit is almost non-existent. Is it because we are too poor for our dream health diets, or because the vast majority do so much walking and public transport commuting? Or is it because some sections of society have glorified the “pot-belly” as a status symbol, and so aim for obesity and a “beer-gut”? Do we feel it is the realm of the athlete and soldier? Or maybe, with the daily struggles of life it just falls off our list of immediate priorities?
Physical fitness is a biological factor in prolonging life. It reduces the risk of developing high blood pressure, diabetes, helps build and maintain healthy bones, joints and muscles, and is even said to reduce the chance of getting certain types of cancer. We are “stewards” of our health, and as much as depends on us (i.e. responsibility) we should maintain it. But do we?

Life is a precious gift, and we are responsible to take care of the good gifts given us. When you buy a car, you make effort to maintain it, even when we take it for granted that “it will probably be ‘on stones’ in ten years time”. When someone drives carelessly, adding dents and damage in a carefree manner, you would say they are wasting the car! We have something more precious – our health. One dying queen is quoted as saying “A world of wealth for an inch of time”, that’s what she would give!

This is not to deny the “days ordained for us” (Psalm 139), that our lives are in God’s hands. The Bible also shows we are responsible beings, and the flipside to “do not murder” is “do everything possible to preserve life, your own and others” According to Question 68 in the Westminster Shorter Catechism. (A catechism is just a set of questions and answers about what the bible teaches. The quoted catechism was written by a group that met in Westminster London hence the name.)

The common saying goes, ‘healthy body, healthy mind’. Your body affects your mind and your mind affects your body – We know how fatigue can make someone “touchy” (short-tempered/irritable), and we know how hunger can induce sleep! The interplay of mind and body should not surprise us when we reflect on how the first man was made “a living soul”, a singular being. It is in fact our fallen state that is susceptible to death, separation of body and soul on one level. But make no mistake; we were made to be body and soul, as the redemption promise of resurrection shows. The body is not a transient vessel but rather we will be embodies forever, after we are raised and death is thrown into the lake of fire (revelation 20). We are made for bodies, and we should not treat them as a burden (in a Hindu/New Age way), but instead sin is the burden. When God promises to give rest to his people, it will include their glorified bodies. Let us not resent this existence, even if it is entangled with sin and pain. Let us not resent the body, but except the created goodness, even as we long for the final redemption, body and soul.
I must confess much guilt as I first started thinking of this article. Guilt, because a key factor in exercise is self discipline. I have to make it a priority –no one will make it a priority for me. Here is an example of a skipping rope medium-fitness program that requires discipline. A friend gave this to me, who wishes to remain unknown (but get proper personalized advice on where you can begin to exercise):
This is to be done daily or at least five days a week

WEEKS ONE & TWO
100 skips
100 marches
50 skips
50 marches
150 skips
150 marches
50 skips
50 marches

If I have the motive, the means and the chance, what should hold me back? “Bodily exercise is of some value”. Let us treat it that way!

Your Wife is Not Your Realtive?

Your wife is not your relative! Have you ever heard that? It is usually a piece of advice passed from an older more experienced married man to the naïve less experienced younger man. It is a short phrase packed with meaning. Lets take some time to look at it.


Let’s start with what the Zambian means by relative. Why a relative is a member of ones family, which is ones family of origin. When a Zambian speaks of their family, they are referring their extended family. You see there is no distinction between the family they were born into and their extended family the more traditional Zambian’s mind. The Zambian feels the strongest ties of attachment and loyalty to their family because their family gives them a sense of identity, it is within the family that a person experiences the deepest longest lasting friendships; in short the Zambian can say they are one with their family.

In the traditional Zambian mind the same can not be said for ones spouse. The relationship between spouses is seen as a temporary thing that may end at any time, unlike the permanent bond between a man and his family. During marital discord a man’s relatives may be heard saying things along the lines of “you found us here and you will leave us here!” The lasting and meaningful relationships are between a person and “their family”. Notice how in the Zambian usage of the word the wife does not qualify as a family member she is just a wife. Further, the wife is seen as replaceable unlike the members of one’s family. A few years back an e-mail posing the question “if you could only save either your mother or your wife from drowning who would you save?” was circulated around Zambian. Many a Zambian man proudly said without hesitation “My Mother! I can always get another wife” The wife is reduced to a commodity, replaceable whenever she expires (or goes out of style?).

At this point the foreign reader might be bewildered and ask; what is the Zambian wife there fore you ask? Why she’s there to manage the household, entertain her man in bed and have children and not to be a relative! This belief translates itself into several traditional practices that turn a wife into a “second class citizen” in her own home. Take for example when a man’s family visits (please remember ones wife is not really a member of your family), the “good” Zambian wife is expected to act as a servant to them. Indeed, why shouldn’t she it is “their home”. While we could multiply the horror stories of wife abuse by a husband’s relative, I will move on to contrast this traditional view with the Biblical view on the matter.



The Biblical view point on the relationship between a man and his wife verses the relationship between the man and his family of origin stand in stark contrast. Consider the foundational text on marriage:

Genesis 2:21-24

“21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

New International Version

According to the text the man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. While this does not imply the forsaking of ones parents it does mean that the primary loyalty of the man will switch from ones family to ones wife. More than this they will become one flesh. In Ephesians we learn that this involves the husband caring for his wife as if she were a part of him. So it can be said that a Husband enjoys a unity with his wife that he does not share with anyone else.

The contrast does not end there, lets go back to Genesis Chapter one:

Genesis 1:28

“28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."”

New International Version

In the traditional Zambian mind, the extend family is the foundation of the society. According to the Bible a man and wife are the foundation of society. They existed before there was any extended family. Therefore, the marriage is not subordinate to the extended family.

So, how should we then live? Firstly, as Zambian men we must TELL our families of origin of the BIBLES view of marriage and inform them of what this means for the way you will be interact with them during your marriage and how you expect them to interact with her. Make it clear that this is not a clash between western and tradition values, it is a clash between them and GOD. Secondly, we must live out the one flesh principle in our marriages and repent of all cultural practices that deny this one flesh principle. For example, when both a parent and ones spouse make equally important request, the spouses request should take precedence. As the man’s “relatives” we should not expect our grandson, son, brother (the only African categories) to have a greater loyalty to us than to his wife. We are to affirm Biblical standards and oppose those who oppose God’s standards. As always as we do all these things we should keep this motto in mind “to God alone be the glory”.

The African and Subduing the Earth

Have you ever stopped to wonder what the Bible says about underdevelopment in Africa? During the 20th Reformed Family Conference held in August 2009, Ronald Kalifungwa reflected on this during a seminar titled "Christian Worldview".

Gossip

Few things are so widely condemned and as widely practiced as gossip! People seated in a corner or under a tree discussing the latest on someone’s friend/cousin/teacher/ neighbor or whoever. A group of self appointed experts dissect someone’s life and put their wrongs and misfortunes under a magnifying glass. Have you ever walked in on a group of people and they suddenly become quite and uncomfortable? You know the feeling, where they quickly fish for some new topic to pretend they have been discussing all along.





Why is gossip such a problem? Firstly, gossip is one of those things we can usually get away with – I mean there will be no obvious consequences such as a court case or a fight. The concerned people are never there to give their side of the story as the facts are offloaded as juicy morsels to be devoured by the listeners! It is because they can “get away with it” that it is so rampant. Secondly, we all love attention, and some are captivated by the undivided attention they get when two or three people come round, all ears for the latest news from their favorite source! Gossip can be a way of releasing frustration about people we feel we cannot confront. Also gossip is an “easier” way to find out what is happening to people, usually concerning things that are none of our business! We want to avoid the effort of getting to know people and earn their trust, as well as opening ourselves up to them. The easier route is to go for constant updates from the local grapevine, never mind verifying the stories! It seems gossip is a permanent part of life, like day and night, it is set to be there for a long time to come.

What are the effects? The most obvious is a lack of trust. They say “once bitten twice shy”, so once you have experienced your darkest secret entrusted to a friend circulating round town, we won’t blame you for keeping a safe distance from the same friend. Friendships become artificial where you keep your deepest thoughts to yourself and have a separate public ace. Friendships become general acquaintances who know nothing about you beyond the general “hi” every other day. This leads to a lot of lonely people who do not trust and perhaps are not trusted in turn. A “cold war” is declared, and people who smile at each other when together have nothing good to say about each other when they are apart. Is it truly worth the cost of assassinated friendships and being labeled a loud mouth?

Now I am not saying you cannot talk about people problems. But I think there are two ways to talk about problems: You could be someone looking for a solution to a problem, trying to help someone who is seeking advice, or you could be trying to correct someone whose lifestyle is leading them down a dangerous path, and you want to use a real person as an example and say “Don’t end up like that one”. In those two cases, you are allowed to talk about someone’s life to the right people. This means, it is usually a parent, friend, teacher or boss who may talk this way. But it is very different from turning your friends life in television soap for entertainment.

How can we change this? We need to start by understanding how unfair gossip is. After all, we do not enjoy others gossiping about us, so why should we subject other to this scrutiny? Unless someone wants to help me, pray for me or use me as an example ( to follow or avoid), I don’t see why I should discover anyone in a corner referring to me in hushed tones. Let us also learn the value of a good reputation. The moment of laughter is long gone, but the reputation you make will be with you for a longtime. Trust is hard to earn and must not be easily betrayed. It is better to have a few good friends than to be known as a crowd entertainer and be lonely inside. Count the cost. You can have private conversations, but never have guilty conversations that leave you feeling like a traitor.

It is up to us to create friendships that will last, built on trust and make a society where each person hides behind emotional walls to keep their heart safe.

No Choice But to Have Faith

To what extent we choose to have faith? Read more here