Adoption and the African Extended Family

Here are some thoughts from a Zambian Pastor (Conrad Mbewe) on the current American trend of adpoting Afrcian children and the African social insitution of the extended family.

Cross Cultural Sensitivity

Perhaps I can best illustrate this principle by showing its importance for anybody engaged in foreign mission work. Here they are, missionaries in an alien culture that is entirely different from anything they have ever known. Thy are preaching the gospel and under their ministrations people are converted and join the Church, the new converts are not immediately free from their cultural background and outlook. Now the danger is that the missionaries, who have probably been Christians for many years, will seek to impose western ideas upon this culture. They may try to press upon people who are just entering the Christian life the customs and habits of people who have been brought up in a country where the gospel has been preached for years, and where there is a general Christian tradition.

Now this is a very great temptation and danger. It is the business of every missionary to learn about the local conditions and the local culture, because - I am speaking in a non Christian manner for a moment - there are many practices that are perfectly harmless and legitimate in this country, and in western nations, that are regarded as simply terrible by people brought up in other traditions and cultures. In the same way, some of the things people in other countries regard as of value, we think of as being almost ridiculous.

D.M. Lloyd Jones, Romans Exposition of Chapter 14: 1 - 17, P 174

The State and sex education – Molding a lifestyle

There is no such thing as morally neutral education. We learn values in everything we see and hear, from radio adverts to fashion. And what is not of moral significance will show wisdom or lack of wisdom, which will open the door to certain moral options. Schools have a role to play in molding children’s understanding of themselves, their world and their purpose. That’s why sex education is not just science. It examines what it means to be male or female – meaning the children will evaluate themselves by what they learn in sex education. Do you see how dangerous it is to get it wrong here?

When you think about it, you will realize that schools have custody of your children for about 8 hours a day. While most schools are government run, the private schools will still use Curriculum Development Centre approved material and at least aligned with the centrally approved exams. This means, the education system will determine what material is a priority for your children’s time and energy. This means, either the education system will reinforce the principles you want your child to have, or it will compete with your principles, and prove a great challenge to molding a lifestyle you desire to see.

The state will never be a substitute for training in the home or by the church. Each has a unique role that slightly overlaps, and, of course, each is dealing with the same people! But there are at least four roles of the state in training on sexuality:
The state must convey the proper facts through its approved curriculum. The understanding of how the body works, hygiene and health, puberty, etc, it vital. It is the raw material, the ‘elements’ so to speak, that will be given a place of dignity and moral value in the great jigsaw of life. Without the raw elements, the choices will never be informed choices. Accurate science must form part of the curriculum. It is, in effect, God glorifying truth.

Secondly, that curriculum should include the emotional
and perceptional differences of male and female. Without it the ‘scientific’ description of male and female is incomplete. This is a core element in understanding sexuality. The difference is not just the plumbing! It must be demonstrated, as experience has shown, that we are different at more than just muscle and bone level.

Thirdly, those differences should be acknowledged through the text books, story books and readers that are used, promoting behavior that respects men and women as unique, having common and unique duties towards others – hence the concept of gentleman and lady in society!

Fourthly, the types of behaviour that are both rewarded and punished must include behavior that is sensitive to the needs of pupils as male and female, and a model for people who will one day have their own families. The punishments given, and the crimes that earn those punishments in schools, go a long way in teaching boys how to treat girls, and later in life to be considerate and reliable men.

For some, they think the only choices are the traditional model were women are almost treated as children, without property rights and choices, and the egalitarian post-modern view of men and women and having no real differences beyond bearing children. There is a third position, in which the differences and the common dignity of men and women are both recognized – one without diminishing the other.

Schools play a huge rule in formative years of children. We would be grateful if their role complements and strengthens the effort of faithful churches and sincere parenting, and not opposes it.

The Pope and Condoms

Hi there sorry about the Absence.

If you have read the Post of 23rd November you may have noticed an article on page 2 by Edwin Mbulo titled "Chruch Should Promote Condoms". You can read the story online here.

In the article Treatment Advocay and Literacy Campaign's country representive welcomes the Popes aprent endorement of the use of condoms for prevention of HIV transmission saying that priest and bishops should realistic.

I am not Roman Catholic but in the interests of truth and accuracy I would like to share something from catholicsonline to clarify the Popes position:

"The pope underlines clearly that, at that time, he did not want to express a position on the problem of condoms in general, but he wanted to affirm strongly that the problem of AIDS cannot be resolved solely with the distribution of condoms, because much more must be done: prevention, education, assistance, counsel, being close to people, both so that they do not become sick, and also in cases where they are sick.

"The pope observes that even in non-church circles a comparable awareness has developed, as is seen in the so-called ABC theory (Abstinence-Be Faithful-Condoms), in which the first two elements (abstinence and fidelity) are much more decisive and fundamental in the struggle against AIDS, while the condom appears as a last resort when the other two are lacking. It should therefore be clear that the condom is not the solution to the problem.

"The pope then takes a wider view and insists on the fact that concentrating only on the condom signifies the "banalization" of sexuality, which loses its meaning as the expression of love between persons and becomes like a "drug." To fight against the banalization of sexuality is "part of the struggle to ensure that sexuality is treated as a positive value and to enable it to have a positive effect on the whole of man's being."

"In the light of this ample and profound vision of human sexuality and its modern challenges, the pope reaffirms that the church "of course does not regard (condoms) as a real or moral solution" to the problem of AIDS.

"In saying this, the pope is not reforming or changing the teaching of the church, but reaffirming it by putting it in the context of the value and dignity of human sexuality as an expression of love and responsibility.

"At the same time, the pope takes into consideration an exceptional situation in which the exercise of sexuality may represent a real risk to the life of another person. In such a case, the pope does not morally justify the disordered exercise of sexuality, but maintains that the use of the condom to diminish the danger of infection may be "a first assumption of responsibility", "a first step in a movement toward a more human sexuality", as opposed to not using the condom and exposing the other person to a fatal risk.

"In this statement, the pope's reasoning certainly cannot be defined as a revolutionary shift.

You can read the release from the Vatican here

I will make my own comments on TALC position soon.

Sex education and the family

The family is the first place we learn about life and social norms. All our first questions about life are addressed to parent/guardians, as anyone will tell you who has raised children between 3 and 5 years of age, when the endless “why?” questions are predominant! What better place for children to get a clear understanding of the role, dignity and value of sexuality in human life! Before the school or the church or peers step in, the home can be the first and the foundational point to teach children about sexual identity and role-distinct responsibility. But this is easier said then done, as the home is often the last place people have such conversations!

Why is it necessary to teach this in the family? Firstly, because the young children are at a stage of trust, where they have great confidence in their parents, and will give greater attention to “what Daddy told me at home” than what peers will say! Parents can take advantage of the trust the toddlers and pre-teens have, before the more individualistic teen years set in! Secondly, since the home is where a sense of right and wrong is explained and enforced, this should include lessons on sexuality. Thirdly, because children begin exploring sexuality a lot younger than in previous generations, so the information a child needs at 11 years old, was once needed at 14 years! We need to equip them sooner, because children are more daring. Fourthly, because nowadays children get exposed to so much sexual material in the sense of more explicit movies (even those rated as family movies), music (which will make the child ask “what does that word mean?”) and public displays of affection (romantic kisses in public), etc.

How should parents go about this? It is a double difficult task because, in Zambian culture, the task always fell to grand-parents or others outside the nuclear family. As Joe Kapolyo points out in his book, it seems the parent and child generation are supposed to be formal, while, when you skip a generation, the grandparent and grandchildren are allowed to be very free, even play-mates! But the modern urban lifestyle leaves neither the time nor the resources for this model, and the gap has to be filled. Further more, the Bible has placed the task of training the child in the parents hands, with no room for deferring responsibility. The cultural barrier has to be overcome to fulfill the Biblical mandate. So it will take courage and tact!

The first approach is by parents taking advantage of questions that arise. In Richard Dobbins book, ‘Teaching your child the truth about sex’, he tells a story of a mother who took advantage of an incident where one chicken was apparently ‘killing’ the other. The mother explained to the daughter that that’s how chickens make babies! Surely every parent has some situation (when watching television or hearing a song) which will bring up a question, and the parent can give an age appropriate response, which will be truthful even if not detailed! There are also the questions about ‘where do babies come from’ and even question when the mother is expecting another child. This is a lot better than those lies where we tell a child ‘babies come from Shoprite’. In future, they will not come for real answers from the parent but look elsewhere!

The second approach is a planned talk. IF you are from certain Christian backgrounds, then the concept of the father as ‘priest’ in the home, with his little congregation to teach, is nothing new. Voddie Bauchum is a great advocate of this, as his book ‘Family driven faith’ attests. If there are family talks or devotions even once a week, there can be a day when the talk can be on Genesis chapter 2 and 3. The parents can talk about what it means to ‘leave and cleave’ to be married, both the motherly role of Eve as well as the lead and provide role of Adam the gardener and head of humanity! Simple lessons like this can increase in complexity according to the age group as well as the level of understanding and the questions that come out.

This also prepares the child to evaluate the kind of sex and life education they will receive at school, as it often falls short of the wholeness required of sexuality and responsibility training required, or at the least, it is often morally neutral instead of character building.

The Church and Secularization

While it is common place to hear about how the Church is against secularization, it is interesting to note that the Church has been a force promoting secularisation in the developing world.

Here is a quote from Religion and Education in Zambia

"In spite of frequent off the record comments about the activities of missionaries, anthropologists have done little to document the role of missionaries as agents of culture change. What little they have written focuses on religious aspects of missionary work but rarely on the missionary as agent of westernisation generally. here, i shall attend to the missionary as purveyor of a naturalistic world view as opposed to a supernaturalistic one. By naturalistic, i refer to cause and effect explanations based on natural laws rather than explanation which rely on supernatural powers of intervention in human affairs...

naturalistic beliefs form the organising basis for the missionary's comprehension of the vast majority of day to day events and experiences. Rather than reinforce or expand traditional supernaturalistic beliefs, the missionary, in fact supports the many naturalistic orientations Westerners tend to impose on non western cultures. Socialised in a largely secular society (i.e., one which depends on naturalistic rather than supernaturalistic beliefs and activities for its raison d'etre), missionaries actually assign supernanturalistic beliefs and actions a Minor role in ascribing and explaining the everyday experiences of human existence. For them, the arena of direct supernatural involvement is generally restricted to past events ( such as the "creation" and the Old Testament and New Testament periods of "Revelation") or to individual experiences which they can not readily trace to naturalistic causes. In contrast, traditional supernnaturalistc world views tend to encompass all of life's experiences with no comparable cognitive distinction between natural and supernatural or between temporal epochs of differential supernatural activity."

E. Millar, Religion and Education in Zambia, P55

Christians as members of Political Parties

The past two presidential elections have been particularly trying for the body of Christ in Zambia. Many Christians have divided over their respective political affiliations. Here are Martyn Lloyd Jones thoughts on the matter.

“The Christian is never to expect too much from the state. This is always a difficulty. People always expect too much from it. Let me emphasize that by saying that Christians should never get excited about the state. They should never get excited about politics. They are to be interested; they are to vote; they must be intelligent and informed; but they are never to get excited about one political party or the other. But Christians often do, and to the extent that they do, they come under the condemnation of scripture...

So often, and to their great shame, Christian people have quarreled over politics. This is quite unforgivable. Ultimately the disagreement is often caused by a view of what the state can achieve; otherwise no one would get so heated. I have known churches to divide on political issues. I have known Christian people who do not even speak to one another because of their political views. It is almost unthinkable, but it has often happened, and it is due to a failure to understand the teaching of this great and important section of Romans 13. It is quite all right to have differences of opinion, as I have already indicated. There are equally good Christians in all the political parties. Bit Christians must never let their political views harm their fellowship with other Christians.”

P58 Martyn Lloyd Jones, Romans: Exposition of Chapter 13 Life in two kingdoms, Banner of Truth