Adoption and the African Extended Family

Here are some thoughts from a Zambian Pastor (Conrad Mbewe) on the current American trend of adpoting Afrcian children and the African social insitution of the extended family.

Cross Cultural Sensitivity

Perhaps I can best illustrate this principle by showing its importance for anybody engaged in foreign mission work. Here they are, missionaries in an alien culture that is entirely different from anything they have ever known. Thy are preaching the gospel and under their ministrations people are converted and join the Church, the new converts are not immediately free from their cultural background and outlook. Now the danger is that the missionaries, who have probably been Christians for many years, will seek to impose western ideas upon this culture. They may try to press upon people who are just entering the Christian life the customs and habits of people who have been brought up in a country where the gospel has been preached for years, and where there is a general Christian tradition.

Now this is a very great temptation and danger. It is the business of every missionary to learn about the local conditions and the local culture, because - I am speaking in a non Christian manner for a moment - there are many practices that are perfectly harmless and legitimate in this country, and in western nations, that are regarded as simply terrible by people brought up in other traditions and cultures. In the same way, some of the things people in other countries regard as of value, we think of as being almost ridiculous.

D.M. Lloyd Jones, Romans Exposition of Chapter 14: 1 - 17, P 174

The State and sex education – Molding a lifestyle

There is no such thing as morally neutral education. We learn values in everything we see and hear, from radio adverts to fashion. And what is not of moral significance will show wisdom or lack of wisdom, which will open the door to certain moral options. Schools have a role to play in molding children’s understanding of themselves, their world and their purpose. That’s why sex education is not just science. It examines what it means to be male or female – meaning the children will evaluate themselves by what they learn in sex education. Do you see how dangerous it is to get it wrong here?

When you think about it, you will realize that schools have custody of your children for about 8 hours a day. While most schools are government run, the private schools will still use Curriculum Development Centre approved material and at least aligned with the centrally approved exams. This means, the education system will determine what material is a priority for your children’s time and energy. This means, either the education system will reinforce the principles you want your child to have, or it will compete with your principles, and prove a great challenge to molding a lifestyle you desire to see.

The state will never be a substitute for training in the home or by the church. Each has a unique role that slightly overlaps, and, of course, each is dealing with the same people! But there are at least four roles of the state in training on sexuality:
The state must convey the proper facts through its approved curriculum. The understanding of how the body works, hygiene and health, puberty, etc, it vital. It is the raw material, the ‘elements’ so to speak, that will be given a place of dignity and moral value in the great jigsaw of life. Without the raw elements, the choices will never be informed choices. Accurate science must form part of the curriculum. It is, in effect, God glorifying truth.

Secondly, that curriculum should include the emotional
and perceptional differences of male and female. Without it the ‘scientific’ description of male and female is incomplete. This is a core element in understanding sexuality. The difference is not just the plumbing! It must be demonstrated, as experience has shown, that we are different at more than just muscle and bone level.

Thirdly, those differences should be acknowledged through the text books, story books and readers that are used, promoting behavior that respects men and women as unique, having common and unique duties towards others – hence the concept of gentleman and lady in society!

Fourthly, the types of behaviour that are both rewarded and punished must include behavior that is sensitive to the needs of pupils as male and female, and a model for people who will one day have their own families. The punishments given, and the crimes that earn those punishments in schools, go a long way in teaching boys how to treat girls, and later in life to be considerate and reliable men.

For some, they think the only choices are the traditional model were women are almost treated as children, without property rights and choices, and the egalitarian post-modern view of men and women and having no real differences beyond bearing children. There is a third position, in which the differences and the common dignity of men and women are both recognized – one without diminishing the other.

Schools play a huge rule in formative years of children. We would be grateful if their role complements and strengthens the effort of faithful churches and sincere parenting, and not opposes it.